What’s the deal with Men & Women and their differences

 
 
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Website Copy:There is so much confusion in our culture about what a man or woman is and how do we function.  This week, I’m going to look at what the bible says when it comes to the role of men and women and the nature of our relationship together.  DISCLAIMER:  If you don’t listen to the sermon all the way through, you may come away with a different point than what I’m actually saying, because there is a twist at the end…  Don’t miss it! Need prayer? visit my.oswegochristian.com/pray to post a request.Subscribe to our podcast on your phone to automatically have new messages downloaded weekly: in iTunes (http://my.oswegochristian.com/iTunes) or Android (http://my.oswegochristian.com/Google)

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MEMORIZE: Matthew 20:25-28SCRIPTURE STUDY: Matthew 20:25-28, 1 Corinthians 11, Genesis 2
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OPENING ILLUSTRATION: [Need poker chips] I play poker,get bored go all in – take me for everything I’m worth… -ask you to go all, put all chips on table… going to go through some tough country -may feel a little backwards (not progressive) – stick with me to end -surprise twist 1 Corinthians 11:3-103 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5 But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved. 6 For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. 7 A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. ILLUSTRATION: What’s all this head talk – Piper walking through with ball in her hoody for her head…  What’s Paul talking about [Picture of Piper] Paul making two points in passage – one cultural one theological 1.  Cultural:  Men and women should lead in a way that is honoring 2.  Theological:  God created men and women differently and this should influence how we live Paul is making an argument that the man is the leader of the wife and he is the source of the woman. head in OT referred to either leader or source – head of river [PAUSE] How does that sit with you? like me – gets you ancy – not favorite things to get up and preach… Because In our culture – we have worked hard to bring equality to men and women –  and the reality is, we are moving quickly to a point where to be man or woman is a choice you make, not something you are born into. progress has brought ability to disintegrate way we think of other stuff  This fly’s in the face of who we are as Americans And…It’s why I’m preaching on it – because you need to know what the scripture says. Before write Paul off as a schovanistic pig – dig into argument… Genesis 2:18-2218 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. was a time when man was alone with God He was created, but he was not complete know feeling of being incomplete?  why we seek relationship -single?  does’t mean not a valid expression of God’s image -does mean valid to feel lonely -Adam can’t get what needs from animals out of Adam, Eve created 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” vs. 18 – the two words in the Hebrew for “helper suitable” are ezer (ay-zer) neged (neh-ghed) – which mean “helper facing towards” or “helper opposed”. -Adam a helper opposed – some of you get it, right? 🙂 -Woman is beautiful expression of opposite ILLUSTRATION: 2×4’s against each other – the opposition allows them to stand… God puts Adam to sleep, rib = creates woman Out of man, woman originates – created for the completion of man and THAT sticks in our craw… Paul’s original argument is that out of this created order, humankind has a leadership structure and an origin story. And, I think, especially if you are a strong woman – that still feels like a problem FULL STOP! – Can I tell you something? I think you don’t have a problem with what the bible says – I think you have a problem with how our world defines leadership Because What Christianity means by leadership is wholly different from what the world means by leadership ILLUSTRATION: when we hear leader, we think of what I thought it meant… Teenager – low ropes, only girls = tell what to do OH MY GOODNESS…  Was FURIOUS!  why?! My idea of Leadership was that Leadership is a top-down activity, I tell others what to do and they follow.  I think most people have the same idea. so, I was ticked when I had to give that up – especially to girls -I repented by the way… THIS IS NOT THE LEADERSHIP OF CHRISTIANITY Jesus Matthew 20:25-2825 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” In the economy of the Kingdom, leaders don’t exalt themselves, they serve, they don’t rise up, the bend down… Ephesians – Paul, headship – it’s about submission to one another… no problem with biblical headship – problem with worldly leadership Men, it is YOUR responsibility to lead your family to know Jesus -to make sure they will be in eternity with you -not to get the biggest paycheck or to be impressive To me, this is why women should be drawn to Christianity – and why men should be challenged as they engage with Christ But this is a Christianity that is beyond just going to church and hoping to be better -it’s dying to self -it’s finding the way of Jesus and living it The question is, Are you “All in”? Listen to me…  Jesus isn’t interested in half-way -half-way has done more damage in the name of Jesus than just about anything else out there… -left wives in loveless marriages -left children with fathers who are a lump when it comes to spirituality -left workplaces devoid of life and full of ego This sermon is not about how women need to submit to men – it is a sermon about how men need to give their lives for their women dare you, ask my wife if I live this or not -not just some pie in the sky.. What would your wife say? CLOSING ILLUSTRATION: As a man, I don’t like things that aren’t challenging. as a kid, hated cub scouts moms did everything Somehow, Christianity emasculated listening to lecture, singing some songs and going home…want a challenge – Die to yourself, accept Jesus, lead your family to know Him…It will change, EVERYTHING!———————–
1 Corinthians 11:3-103 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5 But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved. 6 For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head.7 A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels.
Ephesians 5:21-3321 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Titus 2:1-8You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

God has created men and women differently.  Our culture has bought into the lie that different means not the same value.  But that’s just not true. “Feminists weren’t wrong when they said men acted like pigs. They were wrong when they told women the solution was for them to act like pigs as well. – Ben Shapiro” What does it mean for a man to be the head of the wife?  Does that mean he makes all the decisions, etc.?  I’ve come to believe it means that the charge for my family knowing God rests on my shoulders.  My wife’s salvation is my responsibility.  She makes tons of the decisions.  I changed diapers – I do most of the cooking.  But when it comes to the spiritual direction of our family.  I lead.  What about you?  
ORDER:Paul’s argument – have to understand he is making a cultural argument by using a theological argument-The theological argument is what we are after-Pauls point, culturally, is that men should lead in a way that does not dishonor their head – Christ, and women should lead in a way that does not dishonor their head, their husband
But here’s the question for our day and age, what does it mean for a man to be the head of womanAnd why is that so?Paul repeats this phrase in Ephesians 5:22-2322 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
The head was a way of representing leadership – in the OT the heads of tribes or families would be gathered together to make a decision – they were the leaders
The head is also where something originates – or the source of it – like the head of a river.  So, in very real ways Paul is saying that the man is the leader of the wife and he is the source of the woman.
You can see this as Paul goes back to Genesis 2Genesis 2:18-2318 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.23 The man said,“This is now bone of my bones   and flesh of my flesh;she shall be called ‘woman,’   for she was taken out of man.”
There was a time in creation when man was alone with God an the other animals…He was created, but he was not completeeven if you don’t believe this story – you’ve felt it in your bones – the deep need for other people – to be known and to know-Adam can’t get it from the animals
and so, out of Adam, Eve is created-the two words in the Hebrew in vs 18 “helper suitable” sin Hebrew are ezer (ay-zer) neged (neh-ghed) – which is where the phrase, “I see her naked” comes from 🙂 actually, the words means helper facing towards or helper opposed.-God was going to give Adam a helper who would be opposed to him – some of you get it, right? 🙂
So, here is the idea Paul is putting forthChris it he head of man John 1:1-2In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
Christ was the one who made Adam – His Head – both his source and his authorityAdam was the source for Eve – her headAnd God is the head of Christ because Jesus came from the Father
Paul is very clearly saying that the husband was intended to be the head – the leader-so, what do we do with that-his point is about praying and preaching with your head covered or uncovered, but culturally that has changed for us
But the crux of his argument hasn’t changed…If anything our world is more confused by this idea than ever before
At the very heart of this discussion is the question of if there is something that makes you fundamentally a man and fundamentally a woman-and what Paul and the scriptures would assert is that there is -and that there are differing roles for men and women when it comes to spiritual leadership
And I’m telling you, that’s a hard one to talk about in our cultureBecause in our culture we are told that Sex and gender are not the things that define you – what defines you is your own personal identity-are you being a theme here?
The problem is thisWhat Christianity means by leadership is wholly different from what the world means by leadership
If you hear the phrase men are to be the spiritual leaders for women it probably dredges up images of men who don’t cook and bring home the pay check, etc. while the wife slaves away in the kitchen-he makes all the decisions, he’s large and in charge
Here’s the problem, that’s not the leadership Jesus talked about…Matthew 20:25-2825 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
In the economy of the Kingdom, leaders don’t exalt themselves, they serve, they don’t rise up, the bend down…
Men, it is YOUR responsibility to lead your family to know Jesus – to make sure they will be in eternity with you-not to get the biggest paycheck, not to be the most impressive
For me, that’s what I’ve come down to – it’s not my job to count on making every decision, it’s my job to make sure every decision counts for my wife and children and their relationship with Jesuspractically, for me, that has meant humbling myself and apologizing to my children and wife, it has meant telling my wife she is going to have to drop something that she couldn’t bring herself to drop – something that was killing her spirit, it means working hard to ensure that they don’t have to work hard…
That’s my jobLadies, Paul’s point with pointing this out is not to tie women and keep them out of leadership, it is to encourage them in the path forward to leadership.  
1 Corinthians 11:11-1211 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.His point is that we need each other – but we ARE different
I hope that helps…CLOSING ILLUSTARTION:One of the problems with this whole discussion is we live in a fallen world.  We live in a world where everyone has their own idea and does whatever they want.  It actually has put God in a quandary, because He loves us so much and wants good for us, but He is a gentleman and will not force Himself upon you.  So, what do you do with that if you are God – because Adam and Eve didn’t stay in this state of perfection, they fell too… they rebelled.  
So, God did something crazy – he sent His Son, born of a woman – this is the final part of Paul’s equation, right, “God is the head of Christ” – his source.  God, in order to answer this problem sent Jesus to be born like all of us were – He is fully human in his experience and substance, but He did something unique, because Jesus was not created by pro-creation – He was created like Adam was created – by the hand of God.  Mary was a virgin.  Jesus is both, a man like you and me, but He is also like Adam – a firstborn in creation in the line of those who can become children of God.
Do you see how powerful the story of God working in this world is?  How He has come to set things right and restore us?  To give us a foundation in this life that is beyond whatever I think I should be?
Here is my question for you today, with no pressure, no emotional plea.  But, what if you actually submitted to Jesus and His leadership?  He’s gentle, He provides rest, He provides a leadership unlike any other.  He provides hope and healing – but this is the crazy part – you have to give up having things your way.  You can’t keep doing things the same way and hope to get different results.  Turn to Jesus today!

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