Oswego Christian Church
Fighting With No Regrets

Are you tired of all your fights at home and at work all ending the same way?  Man, there is wisdom in the bible to help you learn to fight in a way that brings about a different result and I think you’ll be surprised at the difference these three principles will make.  Stay tuned for the next 30 minutes or so to find out more! Need prayer? visit my.oswegochristian.com/pray to post a request. Subscribe to our podcast on your phone to automatically have new messages downloaded weekly: in iTunes (https://my.oswegochristian.com/iTunes) or Android (https://my.oswegochristian.com/Google)


Can I ask you, why do you get into fights?  Think about the last fight you had.  Was it with a coworker about the best way to handle a sales report that had not been turned in?  Was it you and your spouse arguing over how to spend your free time – you want to be able to hang out with the guys all the time and she wants you at home.  Maybe for you it’s over how much to spend on the Christmas gifts.  Maybe your mom just won’t quit talking about how much she wishes you’d get married already and you’ve had enough.  There are a million reasons we fight, but the real question is, 

How do you fight in a way that doesn’t leave you with regrets?

I want to help with that – Biblical principles that get over looked

We are talking this morning about how do you handle fights biblically

Kent’s Top 3 Rules for Fighting Biblically

  1. Go to the source

Matthew 18:15-20

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be[e] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[f] loosed in heaven.

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”


Getting asked about the sermon series and changing it…

When the fight is brewing inside of you the first question you need to answer is:  “Does the person with the issue know there’s an issue?”

-How many times have you heard a wife bashing her husband to other women – she’s never really sat down with him to work out the problem

-How many men are passive aggressively making fun of their wives instead of addressing their issues

The holidays bring up sensitive issues about how much money you spend, how your time will get handled – fights abound…

Stop talking to everyone else about it and go to the source

2.  Recognize the battle

If I could bestow one gift on every Christian in this room this Christmas it would not be a new apple watch

-it would be for you to stand up and recognize that you are in the middle of a spiritual battle for your soul and every soul around you

Ephesians 6:10-12

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.


It boggles my mind that there are still Christians who believe in the presence of evil spiritual beings about as much as they believe in the boogie man.  They are more apt to believe there is the potential for alien life forms than for there to be spiritual life forms.  And yet, our world is being TORN apart by wickedness.  Kids growing up without parents, children being sold and trafficked for sex, people walking into schools and killing other people, this can’t all just be the wickedness of man.  There is more going on.  

Jesus believed, Paul primary things Jesus did on cross triumph over spiritual entities:

Colossians 2:13-15

13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. 15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

So, how do you know if it’s spiritual battle?  

start asking one simple question:

Who benefits from this fight?

-is it you?  your spouse?  Is it kids? Some fights need to be fought

-what if fruit is division, anger, hate and discord?

That’s Satan friends…  And Paul would tell you to Stand

stand against it – take that passage from Colossians and just stand

“I was dead in my sins – but Jesus has made me alive – He has forgiven me, he has canceled any and all charges against my life.  He nailed it to the cross.  Satan, He has disarmed you and triumphed over you by the cross, and so tonight/today/right now I stand against this attack in the name of Jesus and by the authority and blood of Jesus”

Revelation 12:11

They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

3.  Lead with Love


Helping Robin Z. Get the vans from camp – even though we did not care for each other……

I ended up offering to drive up and get the van for her so they could have it for their trip.  It took everything in me to put down all my rights to just watch her sweat and to do the loving thing…

learned from the greats – I learned it from Jesus

-Peter back into the fold 

-even believe Judas had repented Jesus would have forgiven him…

-Paul with John Mark

Most of the time you have a choice, you can be right, or you can be loving

what Paul was getting at with Corinthians for suing each other…

1 Corinthians 6:7

The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?

“why not rather be wronged…”

For me, I have to stop myself sometimes and ask

Is it more important for me right now to be right or for my wife to know I’m for her?


Is it more important for me to win this argument or for my kid to know I know it’s like to feel like when you can’t please anyone?


Is it more important for me to convince you to come to my side or for us to fight side by side?

Why not rather be wronged?  Why not rather be cheated?


We have, perhaps, one of the greatest black labs in the world.  When our kids were little I’d be the big bad wolf..  Story… Quincy would go cray, barking and growling at me, protecting the children. Fighting for them…

Some of you are in a position where you need someone to fight for you, you have relationships that are so messed up, you’re not sure the advice I just pointed you to is enough.  I get it, this isn’t meant to fix everything, it’s just the starting point.  What you really need is the protector – to lay yourself at God’s feet – to place it in His hands.  Today, I want to invite you…