Breaking Anger

 
 
00:00 / 39:28
 
1X

Sometimes I think Bruce Banner doesn’t have anything on me. I can be going along in my day, everything fine only to end up blowing up in anger. Sound familiar?  If so, tune in to hear the secret that has been making a HUGE difference in my life!   Subscribe to our podcast on your phone to automatically have new messages downloaded weekly: in iTunes (http://my.oswegochristian.com/iTunes) or Android (http://my.oswegochristian.com/Google)

————  Episode Manuscript————

What gets you angry?  I mean, really angry?  This morning, we are going to tamper with our emotions and take a deep dive into anger.  I feel like anger is one of the most prevailing emotions in our world.  People are angry all the time, angry at politics, angry at leaders, angry at spouses and kids.  We’re angry at bosses and more.  This morning, if you are someone who struggles with anger I want you to know, I’m praying for you and hope todays message helps you get a handle on your anger.
OPENING ILLUSTRATION:Top 10 list of insults you can use when talking about co-workers1.She’s 3 slices short of a loaf.2.He likes to play the dumb card.3.His brain is like a BB in box car. just rolling around.4.He comes from a shallow gene pool.5.Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a whilethese are funny, but for most of us,our anger takes us to places we never wanted to goListen, before we go on – you need to know – not all anger is badEphesians 4:2626 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,-it’s not wrong to get angry – there are actually really good things to get angry about…Jesus got angry…Mark 3:3-63 Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. 2 Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”4 Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent.5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. 6 Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.Two times Jesus went into the temple and found money changers – they were kind of the loan sharks of the day – taking advantage of poor people, scamming them out of their money.  And both times, Jesus flips over their tables and makes a whip out of ropes and drives them out.  He says:Matthew 21:13“It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.'”Anger that defends doesn’t lead to sin-it is completely appropriate to be angry because marginalized people are being taken advantage of.-anger is a gift from God, that allows you to stick up for people, to respond to injusticeThe problem is when our anger is ongoing and never resolvedBThe problem is when anger becomes a base response to situations.ILLUSTRATION: A few weeks back – Jenni and I were driving back from visiting our foster sons at their new families house.  I had gotten some disappointing news about something I was hoping would go a different way.  I was already secretly fuming inside.  Jenni had wanted italian food, so we had ordered ahead at this restaruant on our road home.  I got a calzone.  Jenni wrapped it up in the foil.  My kids are all fighting in the back of the car.  and I start driving.  I’m thinking about how upset I am that at this disappointment.  I’m wanting my kids to just for once stop fighting.  And I go to take a bite of this calzone.  As I bring it to my mouth, the calzone just starts taking a leak all over me.  Turns out, if you are making a calzone for people driving, you load it up with grease, just to make it more difficult to eat.  Now, I need you to know, this isn’t normally who I am, but here I was, at the bermuda triangle of anger.  And I had had more than I could handle.  I stopped the car, right in the middle of the street we were on.  I threw it in park.  Kids are fighting – Jenni says, “what are you doing?”  I said, “look at my shirt…”  I jumped out of the car.  and started ripping my shirt off in the middle of the street..  I hear Jenni saying, “you’re dad is mad, you guys need to be quite”  I get back in the car and no one says a word for about 50 miles… I was ANGRY…You get it?  Ever been there?-What have you said in anger over the past week you regret-How have you reacted physically (raising your voice, or fist) to a situation that was out of your control in anger?-How have you judged someone unfairly in anger?Jesus told a story about a man consumed with anger…  And I have to tell you, this gets me…-A king wants to settle accounts with people who ow him money…-he brings in this guy who owes him 10,000 bags of gold (serious money – millions – 200,000 days wages)-the guy isn’t able to pay – the king says – sell the man, his wife and children to pay the debt…-but the servant falls on his knees, “be patient”, the King takes pity and cancels the debt outright…But the servant doesn’t forget – even though the King does-goes out and finds a servant who owes him 100 silver coins (100 days wages)-he tells this guy, “pay back what you owe me…-this servant does the same thing – he falls to his knees, begs for him to be patient”-He refuses – instead – he throws the man in prison-the other servants tell the master what happenedThe master calls in the servant who had been forgiven so much and had treated his fellow servant with such rage.  and this is what the master says to him…Matthew 18:32-34‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.One of the most dangerous positions any person can be in, is to let anger reign. BUn-dealt with anger produces unforgivenessUn-dealt with anger produces selfishnessUn-dealt with anger hurts those we loveUn-dealt with anger builds a wall we can hide behind from everyone except for GodSo, how do you deal with anger – if you know anger is an issue in your life, what do you do about it?Anger that leads to sin is really a broken response to fear and sadness and our inability to control our circumstancesthe servant in Jesus’ parable didn’t really believe he was forgiven – the first thing he did after being forgiven was to go find someone who owed money so he could get it out of him to give to the master…-He was still living and operating out of fear…ILLUSTRATION:Sometimes, anger is a response to sadness too though – the story of me punching the floor after my dad died…Ultimately, anger raises it’s head as a response to things we can’t control…-things feel out of control, or we feel like we are being taken advantage of and anger rises up to put us back in the seat of control-sadness ravages us and we we don’t know what to do, and so we get angry, we take it out on others around us because we can’t control the situationExpressions of anger are often times the means we use to place ourselves in control of a situationBIf you are a person who struggles with anger – let me tell you a secret.-your life will ALWAYS be full of situations you can’t control…Lack of control is the constant companion of the human experience.-actually, giving up control is one of the things that is supposed to set Christians apart from every other faithEvery other religion seeks to control their relationship with God through their ability to be goodBChristians find a relationship with God through the Goodness of God’s grace and by us laying down our life to take up His1 John 5:12Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.Listen, at the root of anger is a mistrust of God-that even in “This” situation, God is in control – that He is good – that He is trustworthyThis is why what Christians are told to bring into every interaction is not power, manipulation, or control, but love.BBecause out of a true trust in Gods goodness, we can lay down our need for control and trust that in the middle of a storm – God is still in control.This does not mean that everything will be perfect, but it does mean that He is perfect – and that He is with you.3 times Jesus said not to let your heart be troubled:John 14:1“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.John 14:27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”Listen, all three of these encouragements are given right before Jesus is going to die. “Don’t be troubled.  Believe in me.  When I give, it’s for good.  I am the overcomer.”ILLUSTRATION:It’s like we get short sighted about what’s really going on in this life.  It reminds me of my kids – we can be taking them to Branson to go to Silver Dollar City.  They are in the car and they are fighting over who took whose pokemon card.  We get to SDC and they can’t enjoy it because they are so caught up on this “little” thing and lose the perspective of what they have. We are all like that.  We let anger reign in our lives instead of love. This week.  I want to challenge you to do one thing. This weeks challenge:  To let love leadhow do you do that?  I want you to start praying this one prayer before every interaction you have this week:“God, let nothing come between me and the people you put in front of except love.”

Start to pray it, start to put your confidence in Him instead of your ability to control and see what happens…

What gets you angry?  I mean, really angry?  This morning, we are going to tamper with our emotions and take a deep dive into anger.  I feel like anger is one of the most prevailing emotions in our world.  People are angry all the time, angry at politics, angry at leaders, angry at spouses and kids.  We’re angry at bosses and more.  This morning, if you are someone who struggles with anger I want you to know, I’m praying for you and hope todays message helps you get a handle on your anger. 
OPENING ILLUSTRATION:Top 10 list of insults you can use when talking about co-workers1.She’s 3 slices short of a loaf.2.He likes to play the dumb card.3.His brain is like a BB in box car. just rolling around.4.He comes from a shallow gene pool.5.Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a whilethese are funny, but for most of us,our anger takes us to places we never wanted to goListen, before we go on – you need to know – not all anger is badEphesians 4:2626 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,-it’s not wrong to get angry – there are actually really good things to get angry about…Jesus got angry…Mark 3:3-63 Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. 2 Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”4 Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent.5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. 6 Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.Two times Jesus went into the temple and found money changers – they were kind of the loan sharks of the day – taking advantage of poor people, scamming them out of their money.  And both times, Jesus flips over their tables and makes a whip out of ropes and drives them out.  He says:Matthew 21:13“It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.'”Anger that defends doesn’t lead to sin-it is completely appropriate to be angry because marginalized people are being taken advantage of.-anger is a gift from God, that allows you to stick up for people, to respond to injusticeThe problem is when our anger is ongoing and never resolvedBThe problem is when anger becomes a base response to situations.ILLUSTRATION: A few weeks back – Jenni and I were driving back from visiting our foster sons at their new families house.  I had gotten some disappointing news about something I was hoping would go a different way.  I was already secretly fuming inside.  Jenni had wanted italian food, so we had ordered ahead at this restaruant on our road home.  I got a calzone.  Jenni wrapped it up in the foil.  My kids are all fighting in the back of the car.  and I start driving.  I’m thinking about how upset I am that at this disappointment.  I’m wanting my kids to just for once stop fighting.  And I go to take a bite of this calzone.  As I bring it to my mouth, the calzone just starts taking a leak all over me.  Turns out, if you are making a calzone for people driving, you load it up with grease, just to make it more difficult to eat.  Now, I need you to know, this isn’t normally who I am, but here I was, at the bermuda triangle of anger.  And I had had more than I could handle.  I stopped the car, right in the middle of the street we were on.  I threw it in park.  Kids are fighting – Jenni says, “what are you doing?”  I said, “look at my shirt…”  I jumped out of the car.  and started ripping my shirt off in the middle of the street..  I hear Jenni saying, “you’re dad is mad, you guys need to be quite”  I get back in the car and no one says a word for about 50 miles… I was ANGRY…You get it?  Ever been there?-What have you said in anger over the past week you regret-How have you reacted physically (raising your voice, or fist) to a situation that was out of your control in anger?-How have you judged someone unfairly in anger?Jesus told a story about a man consumed with anger…  And I have to tell you, this gets me…-A king wants to settle accounts with people who ow him money…-he brings in this guy who owes him 10,000 bags of gold (serious money – millions – 200,000 days wages)-the guy isn’t able to pay – the king says – sell the man, his wife and children to pay the debt…-but the servant falls on his knees, “be patient”, the King takes pity and cancels the debt outright…But the servant doesn’t forget – even though the King does-goes out and finds a servant who owes him 100 silver coins (100 days wages)-he tells this guy, “pay back what you owe me…-this servant does the same thing – he falls to his knees, begs for him to be patient”-He refuses – instead – he throws the man in prison-the other servants tell the master what happenedThe master calls in the servant who had been forgiven so much and had treated his fellow servant with such rage.  and this is what the master says to him…Matthew 18:32-34‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.One of the most dangerous positions any person can be in, is to let anger reign. BUn-dealt with anger produces unforgivenessUn-dealt with anger produces selfishnessUn-dealt with anger hurts those we loveUn-dealt with anger builds a wall we can hide behind from everyone except for GodSo, how do you deal with anger – if you know anger is an issue in your life, what do you do about it?Anger that leads to sin is really a broken response to fear and sadness and our inability to control our circumstancesthe servant in Jesus’ parable didn’t really believe he was forgiven – the first thing he did after being forgiven was to go find someone who owed money so he could get it out of him to give to the master…-He was still living and operating out of fear…ILLUSTRATION:Sometimes, anger is a response to sadness too though – the story of me punching the floor after my dad died…Ultimately, anger raises it’s head as a response to things we can’t control…-things feel out of control, or we feel like we are being taken advantage of and anger rises up to put us back in the seat of control-sadness ravages us and we we don’t know what to do, and so we get angry, we take it out on others around us because we can’t control the situationExpressions of anger are often times the means we use to place ourselves in control of a situationBIf you are a person who struggles with anger – let me tell you a secret.-your life will ALWAYS be full of situations you can’t control…Lack of control is the constant companion of the human experience.-actually, giving up control is one of the things that is supposed to set Christians apart from every other faithEvery other religion seeks to control their relationship with God through their ability to be goodBChristians find a relationship with God through the Goodness of God’s grace and by us laying down our life to take up His1 John 5:12Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.Listen, at the root of anger is a mistrust of God-that even in “This” situation, God is in control – that He is good – that He is trustworthyThis is why what Christians are told to bring into every interaction is not power, manipulation, or control, but love.BBecause out of a true trust in Gods goodness, we can lay down our need for control and trust that in the middle of a storm – God is still in control.This does not mean that everything will be perfect, but it does mean that He is perfect – and that He is with you.3 times Jesus said not to let your heart be troubled:John 14:1“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.John 14:27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”Listen, all three of these encouragements are given right before Jesus is going to die. “Don’t be troubled.  Believe in me.  When I give, it’s for good.  I am the overcomer.”ILLUSTRATION:It’s like we get short sighted about what’s really going on in this life.  It reminds me of my kids – we can be taking them to Branson to go to Silver Dollar City.  They are in the car and they are fighting over who took whose pokemon card.  We get to SDC and they can’t enjoy it because they are so caught up on this “little” thing and lose the perspective of what they have. We are all like that.  We let anger reign in our lives instead of love. This week.  I want to challenge you to do one thing. This weeks challenge:  To let love leadhow do you do that?  I want you to start praying this one prayer before every interaction you have this week:“God, let nothing come between me and the people you put in front of except love.”

Start to pray it, start to put your confidence in Him instead of your ability to control and see what happens…